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When he left the church, he went for a pint with his parishioners. Just the one, it was one of the traditions he had introduced to be seen as part of the community. And the police crackdown that weekend was targeting The Brown Pig – the local pub being used for post-church service libations. They picked on a different pub each week as part of their “Zero Tolerance for Drink Drive Year”One pint would have been fine, but one pint plus a load of communion wine meant he was over, and ‘bish bash bosh’ as a very annoying TV chef would say, he was up before the beak and pleaded guilty. There was no option really, he was over the limit. No question. The magistrate heard the mitigating circumstances and said he was sorry but the allowable mitigations were “didn’t know I had drunk alcohol” - he did, “worked in a life saving profession” - not a soul-saving one, or “knew the chief constable” - he didn’t. Driving licence gone, Daily Telegraph headline (7th page) “Vicar accidentally drunk”, Sun. Long, brightly-colored cloth hangs about the men and women's waists, covering their privates. Both are bare-breasted. The women's tits hang, partially covered by their beads. Most of the women's heads are shaved, while the younger men have hair colored a burnt red. Our translator, Mako, tells us it is dyed with red ochre. I immediately see I stick out like a sore thumb with my pale white skin and blonde hair. I feel like a strange bug under a spotlight as the members of the tribe look me up and down. Josh is pretty dark-skinned, dark-headed, and blends in a little better. Mako points to us and says, "Josh" and "Anna."Two beautiful women rush to my side, giving me beads and saying their names, "Naserian" and "Makena." I bow, accepting the gorgeous beaded necklaces. They lead me by the hand to a group of children playing. I look over my shoulder at Josh and he waves me on, saying they will set up the tents. I turn back around and see him - the most striking man I have ever seen. I.
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